I was so looking forward to my return to sweets.
Easter Sunday came along on the heels of a very long Lenten fast from sweets, during which I only cheated twice (Doughnut. Whiskey cake. Sigh.). It was actually the Saturday night before Easter and we were BBQing around the pool at a friend’s backyard, and I felt like I was practically across the finish line, so I dipped into a very modest bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce. It hurt my tummy, as ice cream always seems to do, but I savored that beloved creamy texture and fudgy globs of goodness nonetheless. Desserts give life such a celebratory aura. They really make a day into an event.
And then, Sunday came. Glory. I started the day with a Cadbury egg. I moved on to strawberry shortcake after Easter lunch. Then at a friend’s house, I ate a chocolate-cherry frosted cupcake, a pear tart with ice cream and an unknown number of jelly beans. That night, I ate another chocolate-cherry cupcake. Also some small milk chocolates and a supersize box of Nerds. Another Cadbury egg.
The morning after, I feel very …. Gluggish. That’s a real, fake word to describe how gluttonous and sluggish and kind of “urgh” I feel right now. I couldn’t wait to reenter the world of sweets, but I don’t much like how I feel after my grand entrance. It’s a little sad, really, to find myself back where I started. After all this deprivation, I hoped I’d have more panache. I hoped I would reap the fruit of my self-control. But I think what I need to go back to is, actually, just fruit. I’m still that little kid whose tongue is raw from eating too many Pixie Stix. It’s not you, sweets … it’s me …
So I’m digging deep in my heart to figure out whether I need to just eat sweets on Sundays. I think that makes the most sense to my sugar-addled brain. That way, Sundays will be a celebration of rest, play and indulgence. Oh, and on my birthday next week, I’ll definitely eat sweets, especially as a friend is taking me to her favorite cupcake shop. So my new informal rule will be Sundays and special occasions. Rules. They are for the weak who desperately need structure in their lives. (Soon I hope to write a rule of life, or pattern of intentional spiritual disciplines, but I haven’t given it enough thought yet.)
Welcome back to whatever you abstained from this Lent. I hope you enjoy it in small doses!